I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
