Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize