She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
