that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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