another moral hangover. fuck.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
