You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
