I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
