funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
