i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
