He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
