i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
