the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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