just tell him i said nine months
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
