ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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