A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize