North Korea, Best Korea!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
