dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she was so not down for the gang bang
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
