I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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