She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
