Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
