I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
