and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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