i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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