I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
