So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
