You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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