WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you would pick up someone in the library
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize