this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
