I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
