Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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