so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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