I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
