u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
