We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am naked and annoyed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
