I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
