Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
