This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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