She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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