i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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