Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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