he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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