you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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