Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize