hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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