It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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