awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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