her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
