shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
