I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
