I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
