I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize