RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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