too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
