just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My balls are so social today.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
