Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
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