just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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