glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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