if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
