So drunk its hurt
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
