if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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