I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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