I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
