I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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