I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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