hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she looked like the before picture.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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