Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
