I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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