My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
