We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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