Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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