Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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